Therapy for Dating Anxiety and Dating Burnout

What does dating anxiety look like?

Often it looks like rereading a text five times before you send it, then checking for a reply every few minutes. Dread before a first date you actually wanted to go on. Replaying a conversation for days afterward. Or swiping for an hour and feeling worse than when you started. None of that means something is wrong with you.

What is dating burnout?

Dating burnout is the quieter version. The apps start to feel like a second job, every conversation follows the same script, and it gets harder to put any hope into the next one. Plenty of people step away entirely, then feel stuck because stepping away didn’t change anything either.

Common concerns I help with:

• • First-date nerves and the dread beforehand
• • Overthinking texts, reply times, and what silence means
• • Dating-app fatigue and burnout
• • Getting back into dating after a breakup
• • Ending up in the same kind of relationship again
• • Fear of rejection, or pulling away before it can happen
• • Low self-confidence in dating
• • Self-image and how you see yourself next to other people
• • Self-esteem, and feeling like you have to earn someone’s interest
• • Working out what you actually want from dating

How does therapy help with dating anxiety?

We work on two levels at once. One is practical and forward-looking: getting ready for a first date, deciding how to answer a text, figuring out what to do about the apps. The other is reflective: noticing the patterns that keep showing up, and understanding where the anxiety comes from in the first place.

In practice, that might mean planning for a date that’s coming up and then debriefing it at the next session: what went well, where the anxiety spiked, and what you told yourself on the way home. Over a few weeks, those debriefs can bring out patterns that are hard to see one date at a time, like the kind of person you keep choosing, the point where you start to pull back, or the story you tell yourself when someone goes quiet.

I’ve worked with dozens of clients on dating. I draw on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for the anxious thinking loops, and on insight-oriented work for what sits underneath them.

Dating coach or therapist?

If you’ve been looking at dating coaches, you probably want something practical: help with conversations and first dates. That’s a reasonable thing to want, and you don’t have to give it up to work with a therapist. That practical, skills-based work is part of how I do therapy.

The difference is what else therapy can reach. Coaches can be good at what they do, but if the hard part is less about what to say and more about the dread before a date, the spiral after one, or ending up in the same place with different people, that’s what therapy is built for. As a licensed therapist, I can also notice when dating anxiety is part of something broader, like general anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem, and we can work on that too. In therapy, you get the practical help and the deeper work in the same sessions.

Do you see clients in California, Washington, and Florida?

Yes, online. I’m licensed in California and Washington. In Florida, I’m registered to provide telehealth. I see adults anywhere in those three states by secure video, so there’s no commute and a session fits in a normal calendar block. This is individual therapy, one-on-one.

What does it cost?

Washington sessions are $250 for 50 minutes, paid at the time of session. I can provide a superbill if you have out-of-network benefits. A limited number of sliding-scale spots are available - they aren’t always open, but it costs nothing to ask. Full details are on the fees page.

In California and Florida, most major insurances are accepted. See the fees page for details.

All services are provided via secure telehealth. I work with adults located in California, Florida, and Washington.

Insurance accepted in California and Florida; Washington is private pay.